Busted

2007, Hawaii: It was another early morning of PT (daily exercise in the Army), and I noticed that it was the second day in a row that PFC Plump  was in the bathroom for almost the entire PT session (about 45 minutes). As soon as he came out, a lovely conversation began. “Are you all right?” I asked. “Not really Sergeant Blank. I’ve had an upset stomach for the past two days now.” So I waved for him to come over, “I’ve noticed. Have you taken any medicine?” Without hesitation, PFC Plump replied with a big, suspicious smile, “Definitely Sergeant Blank! I took some Pepto Bismol.” At this glorious moment, it occurred to me that I had (once upon a time) suggested to my platoon to take Pepto Bismol if they had an upset stomach, rather than immediately rushing to sick call (unless it was an emergency). So, I couldn’t help myself but to get some clarification, “So, PFC Plump, if I were to go to your room right now, I should find a used bottle of Pepto Bismol, true?” He quickly replied, “Actually, my neighbor let me borrow some.” “What neighbor? You live in the barracks” I asked, as my blood pressure started to rise. “SPC Smith!” So I asked my final question through my teeth, “So if I ask SPC Smith, he’s gonna know what the fuck I’m talking about, right?” “No Sergeant Blank” he answered truthfully. “Did you just lie to me? Don’t ever do it again. I want to see both you and your squad leader today.”

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~ by Bobbie on November 10, 2011.

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