Communication Styles

Passiveness

7th grade: Once again, Bobbie watches silently as some jerk makes an insensitive comment to another person. It’s usually the same old thing..the person’s expression is sad and helpless. Bobbie goes home and kicks herself in the ass, “I should’ve said something. I’m so mad at myself for being a chickenshit!”

Passive-Aggressiveness

Bobbie releases her frustration to one of her friends the next day at school, “The guy was such an asshole! I wish I was big enough to kick his ass!”

Assertiveness (The Birth)

Bobbie finally builds up the courage to actually say something for those who can’t seem to stick up for themselves. Unfortunately, she makes an ass out of herself on multiple occasions. Afterall, she’s only around  4’7″…who would take her seriously? Despite the failure-like experiences, the action itself becomes pretty addictive. Perhaps it’s the positive expression given by the person who’s being stuck up for? Once in a blue moon, the person being stuck up for would say, “Thank you.” Later on, there would be an effective reaction from the asshole himself/herself…like an apology. Bobbie becomes hooked to this new thing she discovers. Amazingly, the more she practices, the more confidant she becomes.

Aggressiveness

Confidence out of control becomes arrogance. Bobbie thinks she has to become a bitch in order to be strong. Her distorted thinking leads her into jumping to conclusions, like mind reading and fortune telling. She assumes that certain people are out to get her and/or others. She assumes that bad things are going to happen. She builds up a wall and protects herself and others from the so-called “bad guys” and “enemies”. She starts to overreact to what people say…she starts to judge them before finding out the facts. She becomes out of control. Then one day, a little voice tells her that it doesn’t feel good to be bitchy. It’s not Bobbie. She also doesn’t like to watch or be around other “bitches”…so why be one herself?

Assertiveness (The Keeper)

She decides to find a balance…which she eventually falls in love with.

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~ by Bobbie on November 10, 2011.

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