Forgiveness

Bobbie noticed that her mother had a lot of resentment towards her grandmother (her mother). At first, she couldn’t figure out why. “They” say hindsight is 20/20. It’s true…everything falls into place like pieces of puzzles. Bobbie’s Korean grandfather was apparently an alcoholic, gambler and an unfaithful husband. He had a mistress on the side and would sporadically come home to Bobbie’s grandmother and impregnate her every now and then. Hence, the eight children. He used to take Bobbie’s mother and one of her sisters (when they were teenagers) to the traditional geisha-like places, and would have them sit next to him while he basically partied his ass off. Bobbie found that a bit odd. What kind of father would put his own daughters in that type of atmosphere? A drunk-ass father…that’s what. Also, why was Bobbie’s mother so angry and/or depressed whenever she was drunk? Why did she even become an alcoholic? Why was she so violent? Why was she so mean…yet so kind when she was sober? Why was she so resentful towards Bobbie’s grandmother, and sometimes made comments like, “She only cares about her sons and herself.” After hearing various stories from either Bobbie’s mother or aunts, Bobbie came to the conclusion that her mother was more than likely verbally, physically, and sexually abused herself. Her past perfectly explained her destructive and bipolar-like behavior. Bobbie was able to finally let it go when she realized that her mother had suffered as well. Bobbie believes that her mother loved her the only way she knew how to.

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~ by Bobbie on November 10, 2011.

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