Ideal Replies So YOU Don’t Feel Violated or Even Irritated

·         If you’re Asian like me, and you’re out with your Asian girlfriend (having a drink and exchanging a serious conversation), and some creepy guy rudely interrupts you and says, “Blah blah blah”…you simply reply (while squinting your eyes even tighter), “SO so-ree, no speakoo engrishi!” and look away.

·         When a cocky coworker, with ulterior motives, asks, “What do you say we hang out at my place this weekend, drink some fine wine and exchange an intellectually stimulating conversation?” You DO NOT bother to give a verbal reply since it would be a complete waste of energy of your vocal cords, your tongue, and the muscles surrounding your mouth. Simply give “The Rock” look, the one where he lifts one eyebrow. It’s basically saying in the most polite way possible, “Rrreally? That’s the best you got?” or “Are you shittin’ me?” or “What am I, one of your freakin’ girl toys?” OR “Get dah fuck outta here!”

·         When some drunk guy calls you and makes an attempt to sound sexy by breathing heavily and asking, “Sooo, what kind of underwear are you wearing right now?” Reply, “Size 10 granny panties; man, they’re the best for supporting my extra long night pads! I’m a heavy bleeder” and hang up.

·         You happen to be near a phone booth while you’re waiting for your car to be fixed, and suddenly, the phone rings. Like a cat, you answer it, only to hear a male pervert ask in a deep voice, “When it’s really hot outside, does your pussy get wet?” You reply, “Not really ma’am, does yours?” and hang up.

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~ by Bobbie on November 10, 2011.

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