Perfectionism

Bobbie lived in a fantasy world where everything, to include herself and others, had to be perfect…or something near perfect. If not, life was frustrating, unfair, boring, etc. Bobbie was told by her mother and Korean relatives that ever since she was two years old, her favorite hobby was wiping down the dressers and floors with a rag. Apparently her biological father (a U.S. Airman, security forces) was a character himself…an anal one at that. In his world, everything had to be dress-right-dress and crystal clear. Whenever Bobbie’s mother handed him a drinking glass, he would raise it up to the light and check to see if there were any water spots. If there were, he would demand that the glass be recleaned. Some other pain-in-the-ass things Bobbie’s mother had to deal with follows: the bed sheets had to be ironed every freakin day; Bobbie’s mother had to eat in a “pretty” manner in small amounts and chew her food with her mouth closed; whenever Bobbie’s father cooked fried eggs, they had to be a damn near perfect circle…if they weren’t, they ended up in the trash; Bobbie’s mother and her aunts were highly suggested to wear outfits matching from head to toe (which he treated them to), and so on. Bobbie’s mother was pretty OCDish herself. Bobbie grew up in a very clean house. If a piece of hair was on the floor…somebody got an ass chewing. Even when Bobbie’s mother tied her hair in a ponytail, every hair strand seemed to be perfectly placed. As Bobbie grew older, this way of life was all she knew. Half of her couldn’t help but to do a “white-glove inspection” kind of cleaning every now and then and all night long, and the other half of her just wanted to be a total slob…just to be a rebel. It was a confusing lifestyle most of the time. Joining the Army influenced Bobbie to become more structured, which seemed to fit well at times. Some referred to her as meticulous or anal. Bobbie became a workaholic in the Army, and although she loved taking care of her Soldiers…her Soldiers were often exhausted from her moody and difficult ways. Bobbie took failure extremely hard, since it wasn’t tolerated while she was growing up. Therefore, she did everything she could to excel. Bobbie eventually got burnt out. She recently learned more about perfectionism and embraced it. She decided to work on keeping a healthy balance. Afterall, we are all just imperfect human beings striving to be happy.

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~ by Bobbie on November 10, 2011.

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