Prayer

1994, Virginia: The thought of suicide had crossed Bobbie’s mind once in high school; but it was just that…a thought, and nothing more. However, it was different this time. Bobbie was exhausted from working double shifts at the restaurant, exhausted from all the verbal and physical abuse from her boyfriend, and everything else that seemed to pile on. Last but not least, Bobbie’s mother told her that she disowned her since she didn’t make any effort to stay in touch. Although Bobbie’s mother had her contact info, it was apparently Bobbie’s fault for not staying in touch. Bobbie was broke…so making international calls was not an option. Life itself was exhausting. Bobbie went to the store and bought sleeping pills, Nyquil, and alcohol. She then went to her favorite restaurant and ordered several items from the right side of the menu, which was too expensive for any other occasion. After having a good meal, she then visited her friend’s workplace to see if they could make amends…no luck, her friend remained distant. Bobbie then went back to her apartment, took a long, hot shower, and got all prettied up. She then put on the pink dress pajamas that her mother had bought her a while back. She took all the pills, and followed up with Nyquil and alcohol. She sat on her bed…and the last thing she remembered saying was, “God, I don’t want to die.”

Bobbie’s apartment mananger happened to be walking pass the laundry room, when she saw Bobbie acting as if she was doing laundry. Bobbie had no clothes with her, but was going through the motions that she was placing clothes in the washing machine. The apartment manager opened the door, and Bobbie turned around foaming at the mouth. The manager immediately called 911, and Bobbie was rushed to the ER in an ambulance. Bobbie was fighting them while they were trying to tie her down. Then they stuck a thick tube down Bobbie’s throat, which was very painful. They finally pumped her stomach. The doctors told Bobbie that she was very lucky. The amount of pills and alcohol that she consumed was more than enough to kill her. Bobbie’s boyfriend came to the hospital and screamed, “You stupid bitch!” The medical staff had to hold him back and asked him not to say such things.

After hearing the story about the laundry room, Bobbie understood why she didn’t die. Deep down, her soul was not ready to die. Therefore, she ended up in the laundry room, behaving strangely enough to catch the apartment manager’s attention. Hence, the immediate stomach pump. Bobbie couldn’t speak properly for almost two weeks. She accepted that it wasn’t time yet.

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~ by Bobbie on November 10, 2011.

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