Judgment (Religion vs Spirituality)

Judgment (Religion vs Spirituality)

“Do not judge—or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” Matthew 7:1-4.

I used to believe that one would be “judged or punished” by God if one judged others with a passion.  Throughout my life, I was often confused why religions and people would claim that this so-called “God” is “ALMIGHTY” and “PERFECT” but yet, would assign him (throughout the stories of the bible) negative, HUMAN characteristics such as needy, angry, jealous, judgmental, punishing, afraid and vengeful. I thank God that someone (Neale Donald Walsch) brought forth answers (through God), and had the courage to publicly point out this painstakingly obvious contradiction that the majority of religious society are blind to. I believe God, who is TRULY almighty and all loving, has no NEED to judge or punish us for our mistakes. But instead, He provides with opportunities (to include “bad” experiences”) to evolve spiritually, so that we may experience the grandest version of the greatest vision we ever had about ourselves, that we and God are all ONE.

The following events are an example of why I believed, until I opened my eyes recently, that my innocent thoughts as a child would lead up to my “judgment” day. I realized how ridiculous my belief was:

When I was in 6th grade, I started judging my step-mother, who was my dad’s girlfriend at the time. My mother often mentioned to family, friends and neighbors that she was a home wrecker. Plus, it was because of her that my parents always fought violently.

In 9th grade, I resented her because my dad would make me lie to my mother about where we were going. I always felt guilty about visiting my dad’s girlfriend at the time. It happened frequently, and it made me feel like I was betraying my mother.

1989-1991: From 10th-12th grade, I judged her even more because she and my dad would hang out at the post’s one and only snack bar, where all the high school students hung out at during lunch. I thought it was really mean to do something like that. Some of my friends would ask me, “Hey Bobbie, isn’t that your dad? Who’s that woman?”

1991: I started forgiving her because she was really nice to me, and told me some of her side of the story.

1995: I heard a lot about her side of the stories, and forgave her even more. However, she sent mixed messages, which was confusing. Sometimes she would be patronizing, and sometimes she would be really nice.

2003: I believed, at the time, that it was my time to be judged in the same manner that I had judged my step-mother for many years. I always swore up and down that I would never be like her, but I guess I had to walk in her shoes in order to finally empathize with her situation, and finally forgive her. I ended up having an affair with a married man. What started out as a friendship, where I would give him advice on ways to improve their marriage, ended as something very ugly. I was so disappointed in myself.

I now believe that I had such an experience so that I may evolve spiritually. I choose not to be homewrecker because I’ve learned that I don’t like hurting people. It no longer defines who I am. I also learned that my step-mother is no longer “the homewrecker.” She, too, has the right to change for the better without being judged by others.
I believe the following events occured, not because there was punishment from God, but so that we could all evolve spiritually, and be able to empathize with others since We Are All ONE:

My dad used to criticize fat people with a passion. Years later, his own daughter (my little sister) gained a lot of weight. Years later, my step-mother (his third wife) gained a lot of weight. One time, he sent me an e-mail complaining about how fat my step-mother got. I just knew at that moment it was his time.
Back in 1995, my step-mother judged one of her friends for not having at least $10,000 in her savings account. She said, “Everyone should have at least that much money.” Years later, her and my dad went bankrupt.
In high school, I used to think that waitresses had an easy job. After high school, I ended up waitressing for some time. At the time, I didn’t think I could learn anything meaningful from waitressing. I was wrong. Not only is it emotionally stressful, since you have to deal with a plethora of personalities, attitudes and demeanors, but it’s also physically challenging when you work at a high-pace, demanding restaurant, especially for long hours. One of our restaurant managers challenged us one day to use a positive approach when dealing with grouchy customers. He said, “Imagine you had a really bad day at work (you got yelled by the boss man) and your wife started nagging at you. All you want to do is eat a nice meal. However, the waiter/waitress gives you attitude because you don’t feel like putting on a smiley face. Wouldn’t it be nice if the waiter/waitress approached you with a smile and said, ‘Looks like you’re having a rough day?’ Just try it.” As he walked off, I heard a lot of sarcasm from the rest of the wait staff. But I decided to try it anyway. There was nothing to lose. I couldn’t believe it actually worked. I eventually had a few regulars who would actually request for my section. One business man left me a twenty dollar tip for a ten dollar meal. He then called the manager to make a compliment. The lessons learned from this experience were as follows: a positive outlook, not to be quick to judge, more people skills, and an appreciation for hard workers.


~ by Bobbie on November 13, 2011.

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