The Dream Mother

The Dream Mother

 

Ever since my kids were little, they would share stories with me about all the nice and “cool” things that Maggie, their step-mother, would do for them. Every now and then, Maggie would take my kids to a fruit farm where they could grab a basket and start picking fruits like strawberries. This really caught my attention because I had never heard of anything like that before. As I tried to imagine what it would be like to participate in such an event with my kids, I had a visual of a picture-perfect moment, like the kind of life I had always dreamed about when I was a kid. It reminded me of the times when I was growing up, and my friends used to share their stories of their mother and daughter moments…like baking home-made cookies and preparing meals together. I envied them. Maggie and my kids would also bake goods often, and would even make them from scratch. One time, at one of my daughter’s birthday, Maggie threw her a Hawaiian theme party where they drank strawberry slushies in mini, multi-colored plastic, margarita-looking glasses. How creative and exciting I thought! My daughter said that her and her friends had a blast. I was so happy to hear that, and so grateful to Maggie.

When I first met Maggie, when I came to pick up my kids, she welcomed me into her home with a warm and genuinely friendly smile. As I learned more about her, I grew to admire and respect her. I was determined to have a unique relationship with her, the kind where a current wife and ex-wife could get along without necessarily being friends, but like a second family. There were times when I would send her things like flowers or a fruit bouquet on Mother’s Day, a gift card for a spa treatment, or a Gymboree gift card for her toddler daughter. She, too, would every now and then send me things like a lotion and bath set, a traditional lamp, and a scrap book that she made with the kids. Whenever I visited my kids, we usually went out to dinner at least one day. The kids seemed to be happy to have all of us (Maggie and her husband/my ex-husband, my current husband and I, my kids and their daughter) enjoying a dinner night together.

Once, Maggie shared her albums with me. When I saw a high school picture of Maggie, she looked like the girl next door. She had long blond hair, bright blue eyes, perfect teeth, and a very nice smile. Granted, she’s still a beautiful woman, it’s just that that particular picture made her look like a model. The more I got to know Maggie, the more I realized that she’s not only beautiful on the outside, but in the inside as well. I thanked God that my ex-husband met her. She was like an angel sent from God to help take care of my children. As years went by, I finally came to peace with the fact that my kids were no longer living with me. I had always felt a huge void in my life and was often depressed that I missed out on so much time with my kids.

However, I trust God that everything that occurred in my life has been perfect, and will continue to be. I ended up joining the Army, getting a divorce from my first husband, and being separated from my kids for a grander purpose. I had to go through a process of healing for myself (mentally, emotionally, and spiritually), and wasn’t in a healthy state to raise children. I was blessed to have someone like Maggie come into my kids’ lives. She comes from a stable home, she herself is a healthy person (mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually) and is able to raise my children in a healthy environment. Some people have asked me in the past how I could have such a relationship with my ex-husband’s wife, and I simply reply that I admire and respect Maggie, I’m grateful that her and my ex-husband are great parents, and my kids are comfortable with our relationship. The bottom line is…it seems to work, perhaps not perfectly in society’s eyes (to include our point of views), but definitely in God’s eyes.

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~ by Bobbie on December 27, 2011.

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